The Subconscious Belief That Keeps Successful People Stuck

Self-sabotage in high performers is not a discipline problem. It is a subconscious protection system that was installed before you turned nine years old. 

In this episode of the Health Pioneers Podcast, subconscious rewiring expert Kannary Keo explains why the most successful people on the outside are often the most stuck on the inside, and how hypnotherapy can fix it in months, not years.

Kannary is the founder of Aloha Wellness and a former business operations analyst who spent 20 years trying to fix her own procrastination through seminars, coaches, talk therapy, and medication. 

Nothing worked until she discovered hypnotherapy and traced her blocks back to a single conversation with her mother at age seven. 

Her survival story shaped a belief that success was not available to her.

In this conversation, Kannary breaks down why affirmations do not work, why talk therapy is like mowing the lawn and wondering why it grows back, and how she helps clients rewire their subconscious beliefs in just four months. 

She shares real client stories of CEOs, lawyers, and founders who looked successful on the outside but were driven by fear, abandonment, and a deep belief of not being good enough.

What we cover in this episode:

00:00 Why success feels dangerous to your subconscious mind
00:45 How childhood imprints before age 9 control your adult life
04:47 Why you know what to do but still can not follow through
07:10 What hypnotherapy actually looks like (it is not the watch)
12:08 Why affirmations do not work for most people
14:09 Born in a refugee camp: how her mother's survival shaped her beliefs
18:07 How generational trauma keeps high performers stuck
25:12 Signs you are sabotaging your success and relationships
32:10 How subconscious rewiring works in just 4 months
39:31 Life after rewiring: from scarcity to ease and abundance


QUESTIONS COVERED:

Why do high performers self-sabotage?

Kannary explains that the subconscious mind's number one job is to keep you alive and protect you from pain. If it learned before age nine that success, visibility, or standing out leads to danger, it will sabotage you to keep you safe. This shows up as procrastination, anxiety, imposter syndrome, or picking the wrong partners. The person knows what to do but cannot make themselves do it because the subconscious is overriding the conscious mind.

Do affirmations actually work?

Kannary says affirmations are like throwing seeds on top of a garden that is already full of weeds. If the root belief is "I am not good enough" or "success is not available to me," the subconscious will reject the affirmation. The root belief must be removed first through subconscious work before new empowering beliefs can take hold.

How long does subconscious rewiring take?

Kannary's process typically takes four months with sessions every two weeks. She says most clients feel a shift after the first session. By comparison, she notes that cognitive behavioral therapy takes an average of 9 to 11 years to produce a breakthrough because it only works with the conscious mind, which is just 10% of the brain.

FIND KANNARY KEO:  AlohaWellness.life

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

One of the things that I have heard you say in your work is that success is dangerous.

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Too much success meant danger. My mom escaped to the Khmer Rouge during the genocide, and she ran by foot at night, slept in trees during the day, and crossed the border to Thailand where I was born in a refugee camp. My mind picked up the belief you can't have success.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

So I feel a little more about hypnosis. What does that process look like?

SPEAKER_00 0:25

With hypnotherapy, we're getting right to the source as to why you know what you should do, but you keep sabotaging yourself. Talk therapy is like mowing the lawn, wondering why it grows back. If your current garden is sabotage, anxiety, panic, you have to change the route.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Welcome. Today I am with Canary Keyo. She's a subconscious rewiring expert and the founder of Aloha Wellness. She works with high-performing founders, CEOs, and professionals who look successful on the outside but struggle with anxiety, burnout, insomnia, or panic on the inside. For the past several years, she's helped hundreds of clients rewire their nervous systems at the subconscious level. So stress stops running their lives and they can perform at the highest level without breaking down or relying on medication or coping tools. Thank you so much for being here with us today.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Thank you for having me, Jim.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Yeah, so let's just go ahead and dive right in. One of the things that I have um heard you say in your work is that success is dangerous. And I know that you work with uh high performers, and I'm really uh interested in that line as far as you know, what is that connection between success and um the sort of activation of a nervous system?

SPEAKER_00 1:38

Sure. So I helped uh many of my clients, they they do want tremendous success, and sometimes they're held back because success means I'll gain more attention. Or, for example, one of my clients. He was an attorney for uh in a law firm. And then when he went out on his own, he couldn't stop procrastinating or he couldn't reach the next level of success. And he felt as though, you know, what is wrong with me? I just and he started to become more and more stressed. Why can't I just follow through or or clear my backlog or reach the level of success that I want in my own practice? And when we went back to the root cause, so I bring clients back to scenes or imprints before the age of nine. So we asked the subconscious mind because logically, you know, I need to walk my time in my calendar, I need to answer these emails right away, I need to do X, Y, and Z. Cannot implement it. Frustrated when it comes time to actually do it. And when we went back to root seas, he was the youngest of three, and he got more attention than his older brothers. So anytime that he would shine or do well and received more praise, his brothers would bully him, torture him, hurt him. So he learned very young, I cannot be successful, I cannot be too much, or else that's dangerous. And survival, you know, we're still primitive people. We're our primitive brains are still running the show. Survival means acceptance and staying safe. So his mind learned in order to stay safe, I cannot shine too much, I cannot be myself. And so that's that's why he couldn't be successful in his own law practice because too much success or following through meant danger. So we had to go and release that belief.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Interesting. Was so did you was he working with a firm? He was working like with uh someone else first, then it was when he started to go out on his own was when he hit those, he hit those blocks.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

That's so interesting. What do you think that what do you think that difference was was from having success within like the company versus now that he's on his own, uh, all this stuff was coming out?

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Well, he did have some procrastination, but not to the level of the procrastination that he had because it was his own name, his own firm, and not reporting to somebody else, not being part of somebody else's team, but actually having his own. So a block of having my own success.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Like the the thing of visibility thing, right? It's because like it's his name on the on the wall. And so um that success to me sounds like it's even more tied into like what it's more about him than when he's like working for a firm.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

Exactly. Visibility.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

So what you talk about going back before the age of nine. What is it? What happens at nine years old? Like, what is that, what's that transition, or why is that the the age that you like to work with people?

SPEAKER_00 4:48

Well, the subconscious beliefs are formed before the the age of nine. So even though you have, I like to describe it as the iPhone 17. You have the iPhone 17, you're in your 20s, 30s, 40s, your life is seemingly great. You have a lot of the materials that you've worked hard to achieve, but deep down inside, you still don't feel adequate. You still don't feel good enough because of these seemingly innocent, can be innocent or traumatic events that imprinted on your mind before the age of nine, causing you to believe I'm not safe, I'm not good enough, you know, I need to do this in order to receive praise. If I'm not perfect, I I won't receive love. I'm only praised if I get a perfect score. All of those beliefs, um, subconscious beliefs are formed before before that age.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

And how can you explain to the you you mentioned uh like intellectually he knew that this like shouldn't be a big deal, or intellectually he knew what to do, but then he still wasn't able to execute on that. Like talk to me about the relationship between that, like when you know what you should do, but then there's that subconscious or there's something else that that they interferes with that.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

You just it's hard to describe, but it's a feeling of frustration and it's a feeling of I know I should be doing this, but I don't know why. And that is because the nervous system, the mind is trying to keep you safe. So your mind's number one job is to keep you alive and to protect you from pain. And if it associates visibility with pain, it will do everything to keep you from experiencing that pain. So we go back and we find the the root scene, the beliefs that were uh picked up due to these scenes in your life, this these imprints, and we let the subconscious mind know you're safe now. You don't need, you're no longer a kid, and you don't need to hide in order to be safe anymore. So people learn visibility. Um, I need to hide, I need to stay in the corner, I need to stay quiet. That way I'm not embarrassed. That's what that way I'm not bullied, that's that way I'm not hurt. So doing that at a subconscious level under hypnosis is very powerful. It's like having surgery. So going in there, getting into that alpha theta brainwave state, and actually it bypasses the logical, rational mind, and it reveals your true beliefs. And we get in there and we let the mind know that's not me. I'm not a kid anymore. I don't need to hide, I don't need to be quiet in order to stay safe. I am capable, I am competent, I'm not, I'm no longer in danger.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

That's amazing. How do you talk to me a little bit more about hypnosis? Because I don't know a ton about it. What does that process look like? Is it like the watch?

SPEAKER_00 7:46

Yeah, if only I had that power. Um, hypnosis to me, it just means subconscious rewiring. So it is hypnotherapy, it is the process of therapy that you know you're going straight to the root cause. We're not using the logical conscious mind that is a reflection of our subconscious beliefs. So it is just dealing with the subconscious, which is like dealing with the engine of the car. So if you want your car to go faster, you can change the tires, but the engine needs to change. And all of our beliefs are in our subconscious mind, which is 90% of your mind. And then the outer actions, the thoughts that lead to the actions that you take that lead to the results are just a reflection of your belief system. So hypnotherapy is reaching the belief system and is very different from talk therapy and guessing and speaking about the same things week after week. To me, that is like mowing the lawn, wondering why it grows back. And with hypnotherapy, we're getting right to the motherboard, the source as to why you know what you should do, but you keep sabotaging yourself. So the process is we get you into an alpha theta brainwave state. So when we're awake, we're in Veda, and that's using the logical, rationalizing mind. When we go into alpha theta, you're awake, you're aware, you're just relaxed. And we bypass the critical, the critical mind. And we ask, you know, I'll ask questions like bring me back to a scene, a place, and a time that has all to do with why someone can't stop procrastinating or why somebody is anxious. And I use the client's name, and then I count them down and I tell them to tell me exactly the first scene that they see. So it's very much like you are watching a movie of your life, or it's similar to the, you know, the ghost of Christmas pest and and going back to visit these scenes that have to do with why and anxiety and procrastination come in to protect you. So I have clients that, you know, they're pretty successful in their career, but when they want to go to the next level, they're just they're not able to speak more. They're not able to lead a team or they feel like an imposter. I bring them back and it it's usually in school. They raise their hand in school and they got the wrong answer, or they were made fun of, or their classmates laughed at them, or their their teacher ridiculed them or put them down. And their mind said, Oh, that's extremely painful. I'm going to make sure that Joe never experiences that again. And I'm going to keep him quiet. I'm going to keep him not socializing. I'm going to make sure that he's never humiliated or embarrassed or hurt again because that was so extremely painful. So anxiety comes in and says, I'm going to keep you hyper-vigilant and anxious in case something else comes in to hurt you and keep you scanning for every possible threat. And it comes in as an overprotective best friend. So while we see these beliefs, you know, because you're 30, you're 40, you're successful, you're you're climbing up the corporate ladder, but you don't know why all of a sudden, when you're called to lead, you can't, you freeze up or something. And it it reminds you of that time, that that imprint of I'm not good enough. I if I'm seen, people will laugh. The teacher, you know, called me out and everybody laughed at me.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

So it's wild the stories that the that the brain writes, right? Or the subconscious or however all that works. It's like uh what was that movie with uh the animated movie where they made like core memories? Did you see that one with all the different feelings? They have um, I forget what it was called, but they had like all these different emotions and stuff, but then they would talk about these core memories. And it's interesting to me when you're talking is how much it seems like you can't access the subconscious like from the conscious mind. It's like it's like like do affirmations work? Like, can I just like brainwash myself like in the logic mind, or do I need to hire someone like you that can like help me get into a different state to access some of these things?

SPEAKER_00 12:09

So the affirmations are very much like throwing seeds on top of the garden. If your current garden is sabotage, anxiety, panic, procrastination, you have to pull the root out first. So, in order to change the fruit, you have to change the root. So affirmations are throwing seeds on top of the garden. And I did affirmations for 20 years. And I did NLP and I looked in the mirror and I tried really hard to manifest. But my belief system was success is not available to you. And until you uninstall the old beliefs, you will still have, you'll still keep on, you know, facing the same patterns. I know I should do this, but I don't know why I just can't follow through. So the affirmations will only work once you change your belief structure. And if you very few of us have the belief that we are good enough, you have to have so much unconditional love growing up and so much confidence and and real true confidence of feeling worthy enough. Um, very few of us have that. So when we have this belief in usually people we go back to, I'm not good enough, or that's not available to me, I'm not worthy, then the affirmations will not work. And your mind will say, No, you're not. When you're saying I'm a successful this and this, no, you're not. You're still lazy, you're still not doing everything that you're you're supposed to do. And even if we have seemingly great, we don't need to have trauma, but if we learned at a young age that in order to receive praise or attention or love from a caregiver, I need to be perfect. I need to perform, I need to behave the way that they want. That means I'm not good enough the way that I am. I need to change myself and conform in order to get that attention, that love, that praise, or else I'm not, I'm not accepted, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy. And that and that stays with us.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

How did you get into all this?

SPEAKER_00 14:10

So I'm a former, I was going to say I'm a I was a seminar junkie. I'm a former professional procrastinator. And I tried for 20 years to stop procrastinating. And I went to Tony Robbins seminars, I went to Jack Canfield, um, chicken soup for the soul. I hired accountability coaches, life coaches, I went to talk therapy, I had uh anxiety, depression, and and tried medication. I tried all of these things to become successful and have my own business. I just kept on saying Monday, Tuesday, Saturday. And then one day I saw a commercial for hypnotherapy for success to re- you know, something in the subconscious mind. And I thought, well, let me, let me, let me try that. I haven't tried that. Maybe it's in my subconscious. And when I brought the program and when I had my session, I went back to being seven. So one of my scenes was being seven on the porch with my mom, asking her, why is it that we don't have toys? Why is it that we don't have we we can't go out to eat? We don't have what the other kids have. And she said, you know, those people are doctors, they're lawyers, they've been here many generations. We'll never have that. So we were immigrants, and my mom, that was my mom's reality. She was a prisoner in a concentration camp, and she escaped um the Khmer Rouge uh during the genocide. And she ran by foot at night, slept in trees during the day, and crossed the border to Thailand where I was born in a refugee camp. And then we we got to America when I was three. But, you know, everybody that I saw around me that was successful did not look like me. And when she said that, and I didn't even remember that conversation, it came out in my session. My mind picked up the belief you can't have success. You're you don't look like them. You're not, you haven't been here in many generations, you're not a doctor, you're not a lawyer. I'm going to protect you by causing you to procrastinate because you can't, inevitably, you can't have success. So that was my belief that I didn't even know that I had. And once I released that belief, I stopped procrastinating. I started um completing things, and I said, I need to learn this because and I was a business operations analyst before. And I said, I need to learn this because everybody out there is buying the books, buying the courses, going to the seminars, and they continue repeating the same patterns. And, you know, I spent thousands and thousands of dollars trying to, to, to heal, trying to fix, and years, you know, of frustration. And I really felt as though something was wrong with me. I thought, why? And I called it lazy itis. I said, if I didn't have lazy itis, I would be so successful. I have a strong reason. Why can't I just get out of my old way? And I felt like a big failure until I, until I experienced that. And then I decided I wanted to learn and help other people. So that's how I got into it. And it's so amazing when you change the subconscious beliefs, you can really achieve so much more than you ever thought possible. And it's all it's all in the subconscious.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

So that's an amazing story. Your mom's story is incredible.

SPEAKER_00 17:51

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

I mean, that's like so. Now that you like lived in this world of subconscious stuff, do you have any thoughts about like generational, intergenerational trauma, and like in particular, like where your what your mom went through or where your family came from?

SPEAKER_00 18:07

And I'm absolutely so the generational trauma, seeing things repeated over and over, your belief system. I am like this, this is where I come from. I that's for other people. I can't have that. That's for the Ivy League kids. That that's for people that have tremendous success and and and multi-generational success, and everything's been given to them. They, that's for those people, not for me, not for me, because I I didn't come from that. So I had to really release and let go a lot of those beliefs because I I just it was very deeply ingrained everybody around me. So when you see all of that, you don't even know that a different life is possible. That's part of the the people with the generational trauma, you know, coming from another country, immigrants, poverty, or uh less advantaged. I've had clients that are that have, you know, generational wealth and they still don't believe that they're good enough because uh one of my clients, she has three businesses, very successful fashion designer. I mean huge. And but she was raised by nannies and her father was always working, and her mother was uh struggling with alcoholism. So she picked up the belief I'm not good enough, and she kept on attracting people that wouldn't treat her as well either because her deep-rooted belief, people always leave. Love isn't available to me. Unconditional love. I'm not good enough the way that I am. I need to conform, I need to people please, I need to be what they want me to be because everybody ends up leaving anyway. And that's where love sabotage or attracting the wrong person, and it all boils down to not feeling worthy the way that you are.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

It's amazing that like the tendrils of all the places of these subconscious beliefs can reach. I mean, it sounds like you know, across love, business, family, how you parent, how you're you know, how you're a child, I mean, all that stuff, right? It's just like it's all so interconnected. Now, for somebody who's listening, how would they know if they need this work? Like, what are some of the signs that like, you know, especially like would is it people that are like feeling pretty good for the most part, and then like all of a sudden, like you know, the the story you mentioned with the job change, or are they having you know some sort of life event where like all of a sudden panic attacks happen? Because from the what I've seen, it's sort of like there's like two tiers of people. There's like people that have sort of like always had anxiety or they've always had panic attacks, and then there's someone else who like everything was fine, and then all of a sudden it's like not, right? Whether it's like maybe they're touching that upper limit of success that they're allowed to have, or or what is it? So I guess sorry, I just sort of totally rambled there, but like, you know, what would be a sign that someone's like, oh, I think this is like, I think this is the thing that that I need that's been missing.

SPEAKER_00 21:13

So it it is two separate things. So when they have this low-level anxiety, or they're about to go to another level, and all of a sudden it amplifies because this isn't really available to me. Am I good enough? So there's that level where they've worked their whole lives, done everything perfectly, and then they're about to get promoted, and all of a sudden they feel like an imposter. That is from when they were young having that belief that I need to be perfect in order to receive love. And it's not even necessarily due to their parents um telling them that, but they pick up this belief from the perspective of a child I I need to achieve all of these things or my parents won't pay attention to me. Or They won't be proud of me because maybe the parent praises them just a little bit more when they do a good job, instead of saying, I'm so proud of you for the effort. I'm so you are amazing. I love you unconditionally. Seeing those messages, hearing those messages of you are accepted and loved and cherished for being you, being loved for, you know, recognized and loved for who you are, not what you accomplish, not your list of achievements. So that's one level. Then there's another group where they have everything on the outside already. To the outside world, they look as though they are living a 10. They're successful, they're fit, they're, but deep down inside, they still don't feel good enough, or they they feel as though they're living a six out of a 10 life or seven out of a 10, and they're very lonely. What's really fascinating is that they have spent their whole lives achieving in order to fill the void of what they didn't get from childhood from parents not being there enough or comparing themselves against other people. So they have this big void of I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough, I need to achieve, strive, strive, strive, strive. I need to build a bigger company, I need to have more success. I've had a couple of billionaire clients and they've spent their whole lives building and now, and then they sell their companies or they're in their 50s and they still feel extremely lonely. They keep attracting the wrong partner because their beliefs are, I'm not good enough, I don't want to disappoint, because they're the void of parents not being there enough and giving them that unconditional love, or or saying, you know, one client, his mother was always saying, You're always falling short. You know, when are you going to actually make something of yourself? And he built a huge company and he was still receiving that message. So every woman that he attracted, he would attract somebody that was not good long term because the inevitable belief is people leave, they will find out I'm not good enough. And I'll I'll be alone anyway. So it's safer to pick a partner that isn't good long term. Because the really good quality long-term partner, she's going to, she's going to know that I'm not good enough because, you know, his mother didn't give him that unconditional love that that he deserved. And so you they try to fill the void with building more, being more successful, and trying to gain that love from customers, from clients, from making an impact on the world in order to fill that void that they didn't have when they were young. So even though everything is beautiful, successful, unlimited resources, still feeling not worthy, lonely, isolating themselves because they believe people leave. If I was lovable, they wouldn't have left. If I was lovable, they would have been here. If I was lovable, my my and my dad would have been here to play ball with me, not off it. And when you're a child, you don't understand that, you know, my parents are working because they're trying to give me a better life. The the child says, if I was smarter, if I was better, if I was more lovable, my parents would be here right now and and be playing with me, not something else, or they compare themselves to other people. So those are, yeah, the the people I work with, they have everything, but they still have abandonment and they will stay in relationships with people who are not great for them because of that fear of abandonment, because they're going to end up leaving. Let me let so successful women that stay with men that don't treat them well enough because of the fear of abandonment, they're going to leave. I need to hold on to them, and I don't deserve any better because this is the way my parents treated me. That that's why they they stay in these relationships, even though they're very successful. And then the the men, hugely successful, um, keep attracting the wrong partner because their belief is the you know, a good quality partner will see me for who I am and they will end up leaving me. So let me pick the safe one that is short term.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

Yeah, this is interesting. I feel like we're like the deeper level conversation. I'm curious how like how aware are your clients that this is the story that's like driving their their actions? Like, are people coming into you and being like, I have abandonment issues, or like, uh, you know, I just feel like nothing I do is ever good enough? Or are they just like, I don't know, I'm having panic attacks, like I don't know what's happening. I used to be fine and now like I can't get through a meeting.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

They don't realize that they have abandonment until I I'll maybe say to them, Do you think you might have some abandonment challenges? And so they do come to me when they're they're having these symptoms of anxiety, panic out of nowhere when they are about to go to another level. So it's usually right before um they go out into the workforce or when they're getting promoted in the workforce. And then the other people are they are um just tired of the way that they've been living. And I really want to attract a good quality person. And I'm so tired of these failed relationships. And I really want, I'm I'm afraid, I'm afraid that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. Will I ever meet somebody that is good quality? And I don't want to be alone. And loneliness is the most painful place, you know, when people are incarcerated and they do something horrible, they put them in um isolation because that is the the most painful place. So they're in tremendous pain and they just don't know how to get out of it, or they're they're ready to attract a good quality person in their lives, and they're realizing that what they've done, what they've been doing for decades isn't working anymore, and they're really, you know, they're afraid of being alone and they really want to improve their lives and and are done settling. They're done settling for or tolerating.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

One of the words that comes to mind, I don't think we said it directly here, is like sabotage, self-sabotage. I imagine it sounds like that's probably a big, a big clue for someone who might be listening or or hearing about this. Like if they've hit that point where they've you know sabotaged in their life. Because you see it too, where people get that promotion and then something happens, right? Or the the deal that they thought was gonna go through, you know, last minute it collapses, whether it's something that they did or didn't do. Um, but that that sort of recurring theme of like getting close or even achieving, but then something happens afterwards. You know, they get the promotion, but then they get a DUI or something.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

Um, talk to me a little bit about sabotage and the same thing of just these subconscious beliefs that are driving the the show.

SPEAKER_00 29:14

I love that you bring that up because it's exactly what it is is sabotage, how to stop sabotaging your success. So if the deep-rooted belief is they can't really have it, they're not good enough, the mind finds all these different ways to sabotage you in order to protect you from the pain of because the belief is you can't really have it, you're not worthy, you're not good enough, you don't deserve a wonderful partner, you don't deserve all of that success. So I will stop you from experiencing the tremendous pain of going through this huge long journey only to fall flat on your face. So let me sabotage you now. And and you can't really have that. That is for other people. That is from people that look like this, that is for people who have this. It's always other, you know, that's that's not available to me. I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough. So I will. So the mind, in order to protect you, it sabotages you and makes you procrastinate, stop. Or one I love is this person is so incredible, so healthy. Let me sabotage this relationship. And I and I'm not really good enough anyway, and I'm gonna be jealous. They're gonna pick somebody else over me because I'm not really good enough. So they will sabotage good, everything's going great, and then all of a sudden we have to throw in a fight and pick a fight, and they don't realize they're doing it, but the mind says, he will not really end up with me in the long run. So let me save you a lot of pain and sabotage the relationship right now.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

Damn.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

It's yeah. So when you have when you believe you're not worthy, you're not good enough, and you meet somebody very healthy and stable and steady, that is very different from the way that you grew up in it um class has nothing to do with it. It is if you have if you saw parents that argued all the time, if you saw parents that weren't loyal, and your mind, while the beliefs are being formed, iPhone 4 software is true love doesn't really exist. People, you can't really trust people. People don't stay loyal. And then when you see something that's very unfamiliar, like a healthy person, that doesn't really exist. That's not real. That's for people in the movies, in the fairy tales. I'm going to sabotage before it gets even better, before I'm with this person for 10, 15, 20 years, and then they find out who I really am. I'm not good enough. This is what I come from. This is true love, doesn't really exist.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

And so you're saying you can help you can help people ship this without like spending months and months on the couch, like rehashing stuff. Like how fast does this turnaround happen?

SPEAKER_00 32:12

It's usually in four months, sessions every two weeks. So a subconscious, we're getting to the root, we're getting to the engine, we're pulling out the roots. So you have this big garden of sabotage, toxic relationships, um, procrastinating, uh anxiety. Are they going to leave me? Are they going to choose somebody else over me? Somebody else is better. You have this big garden. So we don't mow the lawn. I am getting to the root. We're pulling the root beliefs out due to those imprints. We're reframing it in the session and releasing those beliefs. And then I we sprinkle new seeds into the garden during the session. So we are installing new beliefs that are empowering. And then you listen to a rewiring tape every night to rewire your mind and you can fall asleep to it. So you don't spend an hour listening, but it has all of the good words that you do want to see, hear, and feel. So we are reprogramming your mind, changing the neuropathways with the tape that you listen to every night. And then you come back, and then we uproot another part of your garden. And then I help people with conscious language as well, how you talk to yourself, the relationship between your ears, changing yourself talk, changing the inner critic, rewiring your belief. And then I teach coping skills and tapping and all these things to help you live. And within four months, usually after the first session, you start to feel so much better. And by month three, month four, the abandonment, the belief in yourself is so much stronger and you're no longer sabotaging. So it is not, you know, CBT takes an average of nine to eleven years to have a breakthrough. Whoa. This is because you're only using the guarded, the logical conscious mind, which is 10% a reflection of everything that's underneath. So we're doing this in a few months. You're rewiring your mind, and then you stop the behavior. And then when your core belief is I'm worthy, I'm good enough, and you don't tolerate and you don't attract the toxic people anymore because you're changing your belief system. Your belief is I am good enough the way that I am. I am enough. I'm worthy. And I deserve, I deserve to be happy. I deserve to have what I actually want. And and I and that is possible. We're changing our belief system. So it is in just a few months instead of years and years of talking. And I don't, when I work with people, I do talk a little bit, but I'm getting right to the subconscious and and what those beliefs are that we're not even we're somewhat aware of it because we keep re you can feel it in your body, the sabotage, the anxiety, but you just don't know how to change it. And and I did that for you know so many years. The therapy, I knew exactly why I took the actions that I took. I just couldn't force myself to change. And that's um that's where it's it's really different. It's within months, not years.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

And is the process uh painful? Like imagine some people that have you know challenging childhoods, and maybe you're in this sort of like idol, I lived through it once, I don't want to revisit it again.

SPEAKER_00 35:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:30

Um, is that is that process painful? Is it like emotionally hard, or is it um because you're like in the subconscious mind, is it does it change? It's not like that usual conscious experience. It's like is it feel different?

SPEAKER_00 35:43

Yeah. So for some people, uh the mind will always protect you. And if you're not ready to see it, the mind won't reveal it. And for some people, uh it is like ripping a band-aid or having that quick surgery to remove the tumor. We get in there, it's an hour and it's an hour and a half, you're crying, you're releasing, you're seeing, but I always leave you stitched up and feeling much better. That is the sign of a good practitioner. I've had hundreds of clients, I've done thousands of sessions. I always leave somebody feeling better than when they came in. So it's stitching up your, your, your patient very well, having a good mind surgeon. You s you can either go one route of seeing the scene and releasing it. And a lot of people do cry, but you don't hash hash it out for, you know, uh days. You don't, you're not feeling traumatized after the session. So it's quick, it's easy, it's a release. And then there's the other way of you just listening and me saying, okay, your subconscious mind that's always looking out for you is clearing all of this trauma for you without you needing to see it. It's working in the background, it's very similar to EMDR. So uh the subconscious is doing it, it's clearing it, it's and we're releasing the beliefs at a subconscious level. And then you go home and you listen to the tape. And then I have very powerful um hypnosis techniques where we are helping you disassociate from the traumatic events by seeing it from a distance and then shrinking it down, shrinking it down, shrinking it down. So we do this for people with severe trauma or PTSD from from from war. And so they don't have to relive it and be there again, but they see it from a distance and and you disassociate the meaning and um from it.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Wow, I just it's like uh you're like a like a wizard.

SPEAKER_00 37:38

Like a I am like a wizard or a genie. Yeah, yeah. My my clients say your work is magical. I don't know how you did that. You're you're so magical. And they're like, I don't know what your voodoo is working on me, and it's just magical because it they've been in therapy for you know and coaching or you know, using the logical mind for decades and then but still in pain. So it is, I am like their genie, whatever their block is. We get to the root cause of the block, we release it. I talk to different ego states because all these different ego states and parts are just there trying to help us and protect us, like an like uh an overprotective best friend that you know remembers that was there when you were in seventh grade and someone cheated on you. So now every person might hurt you again. So let me protect you from getting hurt because this person did it and that imprinted, and everybody's like that, or they're just like, you know, your parents, or that it's just not available. So those parts, the sabotaging parts, are when people go into the session, they realize they they hate the parts when they first come in. I hate my anxiety, I hate my depression, I hate my sabotage, I hate my procrastination. And then they realize, oh wow, this part was just trying to keep me safe because it believed I needed protection from it. Because when I was eight years old, I didn't know another way to protect myself. Nobody was there for me, nobody was there to coach me. So anxiety, sabotage had to come in in order to protect me from getting hurt. So then you let that part know I'm an adult now, I'm not a kid anymore, I'm capable, I'm competent, and I can open up to feeling worthy, feeling good enough.

SPEAKER_01 39:31

So tell me, uh, like, what does the life look like for someone after they have these four months of treatment? They're attracting their partners, they're scaling their business, um, feeling relief. Because one of the things that I've seen over the years is like people that have that edge, you know, the hard childhood, the uh some of those living beliefs of like I'm not good enough, is it feeds their drive, right? And I've had patients that are concerned that if they relax too much or if they feel like a let's say a regulated nervous system, they feel calm in their body, that they're not going to be as productive.

SPEAKER_00 40:07

Yes. So they start living with ease and joy and doing things from I want to, not I need to, in order to feel worthy. I need to do this. I need to be anxious in order to be safe from judgment, be safe from failing. They have faith and trust that they will be successful. And so now they don't operate from a scarcity mindset or a lack mindset, but from an abundant mindset of I no longer need this negative thing in order to motivate me. I believe in myself. I know that I'm worthy and I can actually go for it with ease and even more abundance because it's available to me and because I don't need to take these actions in order to prevent something. Now I can actually be on the offense instead of the defense. I actually removed a subconscious block more recently myself, where I no longer needed to carry the stress of working so heavily and so hard. And I started saying, you know, who do I want to serve instead? Not who do I need to? I need to do this in order to be successful. But what do I want? What kind of success and who do I want to serve? Who do I want to work with? And I get to choose. And when I made that shift, and also with the help of HBA, my income, I mean, it 3x in in a month from having this shift of I don't need, but I get to choose. And so I I do see people that are concerned, my anxiety drives me. Right. But now you don't need that anxiety to drive you to perform anymore because you are confident that you will achieve it, and then you can up-level yourself even more when there's no more noise, there's no more anxiety, there's no more critic. I actually helped a gentleman who he he he called it, well, I called it so his negative inner inner critic was a big driver for being very driven in in business and success. And then when I showed him what this inner critic was doing, I said, you know, what would you rather have? Would you rather have a coach that was yelling in your face, putting you down, telling you you need to be better, do better, or you're gonna fail and you're you're you're a loser. And because that's our that's the voice of our inner critic. Oh, you're you don't look good. People are going to judge, they're better than you. That's when we're really honest with ourselves, that's what the inner critic says. And you need to be better because everyone else is better than you, and and they're they're so much more far ahead of you. You need to catch up. So you'll either have that coach that puts you down, or you have the coach that says, you're doing great, and we can do even better. You can do anything you set your mind to, and you don't need to, you're already there, you're already successful, but we can have even more joy, we can have even more ease, and we don't need to come from a desperate place or a lack place, but a strong foundational place. So that's that's the big difference that a critic goes away. Anxiety and critic, it's it's a uh feeling as though you don't you can't control something, and there is no such thing as control. So so we let go of the part that says we need to control everything. And we bring in the part that trusts everything's going to work out because you're capable, you're competent, you can pivot, you're not alone, and you you have support, you you can reach out if you get in trouble. trouble or if you want to learn more. So that's that's where we go. I also with my I want to mention that a big powerful part of my work is that the foundation that you didn't have growing up of unconditional love and support, which so very few of us have that either from you know parent it's nothing against your parents either. They were doing the best job that they could based on how they were raised and maybe they weren't emotionally there or they didn't tell you enough of how proud they were or they didn't verbalize it or they didn't hug you enough or they they worked a lot or something. When you when people listen to my rewiring recordings we're giving that younger you that foundation that foundational unconditional love and support so then you can really flourish and become anything you want to be because when you don't have that foundation it's like a tree that doesn't have the guides. You know a baby tree needs those strings and the guides. But when you don't have that you have to tap into other sources in order to feel good and then you kind of grow up a little crooked, right? But then when you can give yourself that foundation then you can really achieve anything because you believe you believe in yourself.

SPEAKER_01 45:17

Yeah when you were talking about uh like the opposite of the inner critic I was thinking I was like oh my gosh this is like what everyone wished their childhood was like right it's just like all those words you use were so like nourishing. Yeah. Um and it's just such a contrast to how so many overachievers you know are used to kind of like running on empty and and just trying to like figure it out and and uh achieve and you know despite the odds that the thought of it I know for me like a lot of the work that I've done personally is like can I achieve with ease you know or does it have to be a grind? Does it have to my dad you know I grew up in a household where my dad was like hard work is everything hard work hard work hard work hard work and like yes that's a great value to have instilled but then at some point in my adult life I was like but maybe it doesn't have to be harp. Maybe it can like it could be intentional or it's like it's that shift of like I have to do this I get to do this. You know it's like what do I want to create and perhaps it it doesn't have to feel hard can be productive you know it's like but it's a different just a little different shift but it feels completely different of the body.

SPEAKER_00 46:25

Yes and it's making the familiar unfamiliar so it's uninstalling what's familiar uninstalling the belief because those beliefs what's familiar is is what you grew up seeing. So ease without tremendous grind that's not familiar to us that's not safe because we never saw that is that really even possible what do those people do to achieve that level of success without grinding that's very unfamiliar so that's not safe that's dangerous because we can't really have that so in my sessions we go and we uninstall what's familiar or what you don't want anymore and then we install with the new words the new empowering beliefs and the tapes what you do want to to be familiar and having the abundance and ease and I feel yeah so that's that's exactly what I would you know would do with somebody like you and I realized um I made a you know my shift in October going to what is not worth the stress of my mental health and and everything and who do I want to work with I get to choose exactly what I want to create and I said duh I made a recording for my client called Make It Rain with so much abundance and I started listening to that recording for myself and then a lot more ease has come and so much more income and abundance and uh options have come for me.

SPEAKER_01 48:07

But I'm like why did it take me so long to listen to my own make it rain recording why didn't I do this years ago but it was more procrastination and success but now just to another level because as we move up there's new layers of can I really raise my lid and have even greater greater success and ease without grinding and yeah what's the the new levels new devils right yes yes that's amazing I keep thinking about like uh you know biohacking is such like a such an invogue term now but you listen to you just like you're like uh like a life hack like a the business professional like a like a growth hacker you know it's like just penetrating all of those shadows or you know things laying you know laying in the darkness and you just like shine a light and you're like let's just fix this and get you on track.

SPEAKER_00 49:01

Yeah thank you yes I'm getting I'm like the mechanic that gets under the hood of the car that you know you want the Ferrari we have to get rid of the shitty old engine. Yeah shitty old engine and uh upgrade it instead of changing the tires trying to make your car go faster which is you know uh using just your logical conscious mind um if the belief system isn't there so all the coaching all the therapy the books the affirmations the planners yeah it won't it won't change the engine.

SPEAKER_01 49:33

So when that stuff hasn't worked it's not that someone's broken it's they just haven't found you yet they haven't found the right uh the right system.

SPEAKER_00 49:39

Right. Their belief system is is holding them back because their belief system believes that you know maybe we're not good enough or success isn't available to us and um it it's just not available to us. We're not worthy of it. So we can't really have that.

SPEAKER_01 49:54

Cool. Well we've covered a lot of ground um is there any kind of final message you might have for the people watching you know your uh ideal client is out there wondering if this is if this is for him or hers or anything you want to say though?

SPEAKER_00 50:08

Yes so if you have been trying everything on the outside to make a change and you still you know what to do but you still don't you still haven't been able to reach it it's most likely in your subconscious mind your belief system that's trying to protect you and they can reach out to us and how can they find you?

SPEAKER_01 50:29

Uh alohawellnesslife great yeah excellent well thank you so much this is amazing I learned a lot about the subconscious and hypnosis and all the things and uh be sure to go check her out at alohawellness.life and thanks for your time.

SPEAKER_00 50:44

Thank you. Thanks so much for having me